Thursday, July 29, 2010

It's 4 AM

So it's 4 AM and I'm wide awake. It probably doesn't help that I ate a big dinner and when I got home at 8, I laid down on my bed. When I woke up, it was 12:02 AM.

I've got work at 5 PM tomorrow, but I'm afraid I'll sleep in. I'm going to actually set an alarm for this. That sounds really irrational but it's 4 AM, so everything sounds sane. Kind of like calling Obama a socialist because he wants national healthcare. Oh, wait, that's still retarded.

Anyway, now it's 4:16. I just wasted 15 minutes of my life trying to find that one picture.

Today (er, yesterday) is one month from the day my brother ships out from Afghanistan. He's only been there since March, and that's because he went into the Army a year ago and was in training. My family and his wife and her family are all looking forward to his return, and he gets a month leave in October. I'm excited about being able to see him because the last time I saw him was his wedding in January. He got married on a Saturday and I got a text the Tuesday before. "Hey I'm getting married this Saturday." Oh, well, thanks for the advanced notice.

While I'm rambling, how about that Jessi Slaughter girl? She's like 11 or something and she cam-whore'd online. But the thing everyone is freaking out about is cyber bullying. Come on. It's the internet. Do me a favor and grow up and realize that the world ain't yours. Look, bullying is usually in the form of, "Give me your lunch money." Cyber bullying is, "Haha, you're such a slut," or something like that. Anyone who has been age 12 would realize that not everyone is nice. Good Morning America didn't help by making this much more public than it already was. I love the media.

By the way, the Arizona immigration law is awesome. Apparently, they can only ask for your papers (or proof of legal residence if you want to get technical) if you break the law. Yup, that's right. If you break the law, you have to prove you can even be here in the first place. That makes perfect sense. Unless you're Obama and you're ashamed that someone else is doing your job. I love the government.

I just noticed how much I tend to ramble about things that are out of my control. But you're still reading, so you must be interested (good-bye fourth wall).

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Scary thing is...I think I do...


I think it's time Facebook be bathed in napalm. There are plenty of people who, quite honestly, should just get off of Facebook. Forever.

Let's start with the obvious one: Old people. If I'm sitting here and reading comments about "last nights party" or "that one time I got so drunk I told a girl I loved her and she sent me nude pictures of herself," the last thing I want to see is "Johnny, you should watch your language LOL" Seriously? That isn't cool. Let the buffoons bumble and go knit some more.

And then there are the kids. By kids, I mean anyone who is about 14 and younger. I don't like when two people are bickering and a kid comes in with, "ETHAN U R SO MEAN." I hope you're kidding. I really do. Because when they follow up with, "U WANNA FITE?" then I really lose it. Go play outside before your mom grounds you from your Legos.

Another group I think we should unplug from Facebook are the whiny people. "Jessica is so sick of this. Why are people so mean?" Shut up. Go get a Tumblr if you want to complain over the intarwebz. Or better yet, go make some friends. They care a lot more than the general population of Facebook. I get that people need to vent. But don't do it on Facebook. Do it anywhere else but Facebook. I'm not afraid to publicly humiliate you. In fact, I get some kind of sick joy when I do that. Maybe because I get giddy waiting for your next emotional status.

I think my favorite is the party people. They'll complain about how the cops ruined their party. I guess they don't understand that when you are sixteen and you have red cups in your hands, people get suspicious. Think, people. It's a valuable skill. How else will you know how much a 1/8th is worth? But the best part is the pictures. There is quite obviously a beer can in your hand, yet you deny it when people say you drink. So what was in that can? Water? I guess Budweiser sells H2O in beer cans now.

I also really like the minorities. I'm not saying all people in a racial minority do this, but it seems a vast majority do. What am I talking about? Complaining. "The police pulled me over! I didn't even do anything!" (Cleaned up from the original dribble that it was so you don't lose brain cells) Maybe it's because the car was smoky? Or the loud rap music that you are blaring while driving 65 miles per hour down a 40 mile per hour road. Oh, right, "that cracka" is a racist who is just "hatin' on a bruddah." I'm sure that's his reasoning. In his report, I'm sure he'll write "he was black, so I pulled him over."

That's it for now. I will probably revisit this topic, so you can look forward to that.